the eugene bean

Mine are driving me crazy. Really.

Jacob went to bed tonight after eating a dinner that consisted of a piece of bread and a cup of milk. Really.

Ellis went to bed tonight with a grand total of 32 time-outs in a 48 hour time span. About 24 hours of that time he was sleeping. Really.

What did I do to deserve this? (My mother is not allowed to comment on that one.)

I thought I had a good thing going with this parenting thing. Ty and I had our shit together, we were firm yet fair, tough yet kind, fun yet still authority figures. I can feel it slipping away.

I have no idea what to do about my oldest son and his eating habits. He eats very few fruits and veggies. Like, only 2. He likes corn (has to be on the cob or he won't eat it) and he likes apples (cut in wedges and de-skinned). So, as you can imagine, he doesn't have a whole lot of heathy food going into him. For dinner tonight, we had grilled fish with a mushroom cream sauce, a yummy salad with the best dressing in the world, and crusty french bread. Ellis ate everything on his plate along with some carrots and Jacob ate bread. One piece of bread because I wouldn't let him have more unless he ate some fish. He then proceeded to lick a piece and smell it until I banished him from the table while yelling and banging on it (the table, not the fish) at the same time.

This all makes me feel sick. I'm angry because I cooked a meal that got nothing but insults. I'm angry because he gripes and groans over almost every dinner we have. I'm tired of the fighting over food. I'm tired of worrying that food is going to be an issue with Jacob for the rest of his life because I once tried to force feed a string bean to him.

So, he doesn't eat.

Ellis is a lovely child at the dinner table...and the lunch table and the breakfast table, and the snack table. He's willing to try anything once, and he loves a wide variety of fruits and veggies. This fact buoys my confidence in parenting. I am not an absolute failure when is comes to raising healthy children.

I do, however, feel that my ability to raise patient and well-adjusted children is being tested. Ellis is one of those children that you turn and stare at in a store. (Well, not really, he usually only does this at home. His teachers think he is an angel. Go figure.) It's that kind of behavior. "No, Ellis, you can't eat that tube of toothpaste" sends Ellis into a full fledged, fist throwing, kicking the ground while screaming tantrum. It's just amazing. Sometimes I just stand and watch, amazed at the anger coursing through his little body. I couldn't get that passionate about something if I tried, and here he is doing it 45 times a day.

Ellis throws things, he takes his seatbelt off while I'm driving, he picks other people's tomatoes and eats them, he kicks and hits when he's angry, he screams at me at the top of his lungs, he jumps off high surfaces backwards, he runs full speed into doors, he rolls around on the floor while I try to put his shoes on, he tells lies, he eats toothpaste out the tube, he hits his brother with sticks... and for the record, all of that took place in the last 2 days. He is 3 years old and he's kicking my ass.

I feel better already. I'm off to watch TV with my hubby and relax. I'll be up for another round tomorrow.