Korean missile pointed at the West Coast? Who the f**k cares- I live with a weapon of mass destruction who is currently on a war path.
Yesterday E threw a car at J. And I had the brilliant idea to spank him as a consequence. You know, because using violence to stop violence is a good thing, right?
Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
E is physically agressive. He's rough, he's a brute. He uses force to get things done- if he can't get people to do what he wants with his rude and demanding tone, he pushes or kicks or pinches or slams doors or throws things. At people. All. The. Time.
Little punk.
When my parents were here I'm sure they thought it was cute. When E stalked up to my mom with his hands folded across his chest and told her he didn't like her anymore, she laughed. As I'm sure any of you would. He's funny in his Old Man Meanness. But I've had enough. More than enough. I'm getting angry.
So yesterday I spanked him. Twice, hard, on the bottom. I told him I was going to do it, I told him it was a result of him throwing cars at J, he clearly understood. I then whacked him twice and sat him down and left him to cry for about 45 seconds while I stood out of sight behind the door. I then went and picked him up and he snotted on me for awhile and then we had a talk about it.
And I knew it would not be over. And it wasn't.
Bright and early this morning J came in to report that E had hurt him because he wouldn't move his foot. I call E into the room and ask him what was going on. He replies that J wouldn't move his foot so "I stuck my fingers into his side as hard as I could and then pinched bof his arms."
I am at a total loss.
I could continue the spanking routine as a tit for tat kind of lesson. "You decide to hurt your brother and this is what you get." Every time. Because consistency is the key to parenting. But shit! I don't think I have the stomach to hit my child 3 or 4 times a day. And what is that teaching him anyway?
And what about poor J? He ain't innocent, I've watched him egg E on to the point where E can't control himself anymore. J doesn't hit but he's no fool- he knows exactly what buttons to push. But on the other hand, he is the victim of abuse and I don't know what to do about it!
Just when I had gotten used to the ups and downs of parenting children I'm slammed with the problems of parenting siblings. Whoa. It's a whole other ball game.
preachin the choir, sister.
Seriously. Elijah this morning was repeatedly placing his head under Katie's hands. So she, naturally, pulled his hair. and then he screamed and screamed until she let go. And then put his head back down.
I'm like, HELLO??? Is she pulling your hair? Does it hurt? THEN MOVE AWAY. She's in a CRIB. HELLO??? She can't reach your head if you step a whole FOOT AWAY!
"here Katie. Here's my head. Pull my hair please."
What am I raising? A masochist and a bully. Fun times.
wendy said...
11:06 PM
Yikes, it's the McCoys vs the Hatfields only they've picked up stakes and crossed into Oregon territory!
You'll figure it out Co, you're a good mom (and so are you Wen)
See mine are older now and they've moved into the "what can I do to irritate my brother the most" phase.
I've finally figured out that they really like to push each other's buttons when they're bored or tired. Cause hey, nothing livens up a dead room then a bunch of name calling, crying and yelling.
"I am not a doody head!"
"Yes you AAAARRREEE! Doody head, doody head, doooody HEAD!"
"Mooooooooooooooom" I called me a doody head!!"
So I now do a preemptive stike around 3pm (critical mass time) and either take them to the pool, or send them to their rooms to read.
Took me a long time to figure THAT one out!
Hang in girl, it's a phase that you will help him outgrow!
Lisa said...
7:07 AM
Great response Stace. Rational and insightful and interesting and oh, so true. Maybe I need to get him a doll he can abuse or a punching bag...
Corrie said...
7:18 PM