the eugene bean

Journaling reads:
This time of year, from about mid-March to late April will forever be a time for memory and nostalgia. It is during this time that my oldest son has a birthday, reminding me each year of the passing time. It is also during this time that I remember Alex. I remember the light and love he brought to my life and to my family, and I remember the joy and delight on his smiling face. I also remember the sadness of his death, the loss that we suffered, the pain that we felt.

This year I’ve added a new memory, one that brings both sadness and joy. I remember Waveland. I remember swinging high on the tire swing. I remember Paw Chick’s Easter baskets filled to the brim with bubbles, and bathing suits, and candy. I remember lazing around playing the, “I don’t know, what do you want to do” game. I remember waiting in line for the bathroom; I remember bumping into people in the kitchen while trying to serve 6 kids and 8 adults. I remember dying Easter eggs, drawing on them with crayons as old as Ty, spilling dye, snapping pictures of the delight on Paw’s face.

Because of our move, this is our first Easter without our family. Because of Katrina, this is our first Easter without our beach house. This is the first Easter that we have nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to share things with. I am sad.

But I am very thankful to have my memories.