the eugene bean

So you’re about to find out how much of a freak I am.

J had a stranger sleep over on Saturday night.

He has had people sleep over in New Orleans but I’ve known the kid and the kid’s family so I didn’t think anything of it. The parents and I were either neighbors or best friends. I knew what to expect, Jacob knew what to expect and so the whole thing was comfortable.

This time it was a complete stranger in our home and it kinda freaked me out.

The whole thing started off strange. J has wanted to do something with this friend since the beginning of school. He really likes this boy, we’ll call him Sam from here on, and he kept asking if Sam could spend the night. Well, I don’t know Sam from Adam, I’ve never even laid eyes on him, and the only information I had about him came from the experiences of my 7 year old. Have I mentioned that 7 year olds are gullible? Actually gullible doesn’t cut it, they’re more socially stupid. Anyway, the info that J gave us consisted of the fact that Sam didn’t have a mother; his brother was in jail, and Sam lives with a roommate in lieu of parents. Great.

Then Sam started calling. My initial thought was, “Good, now I can talk to his mom (roommate???) and ease this friendship to the next level. Maybe we could pick Sam up and go see a movie.” But no. Things got even weirder. Sam would call and tell me that his mom (so he does have one, huh) wanted to talk to me but then he’d bring her the phone and I’d hear her going, “Sam, don’t bring me the phone. I don’t know what’s going on and you are being rude!” Talk about uncomfortable. Ugh.

Finally, Sam got his shit straight and spoke with his mother BEFORE calling me and so I wound up on the phone with her. She seemed nice, I was about to invite her son to lunch and a movie and then things got even MORE weird. After a 2 minute, hi how are you our kids really seemed to really hit it off introduction, she asked me if Sam could just come over tomorrow night for a sleepover. “Um, sure, but aren’t we rushing things? I don’t know you, I don’t know your son, and my own son is working with a 7 year old’s logic and I don’t trust him. Um, great. See you tomorrow.”

Now, at this point I have mixed emotions. On one hand I’m very glad that Sam is coming here rather then J going there. One of my parenting fears (besides the norms like kidnapping, getting hit by a car, and getting lost in the mall never to return) is that J goes to sleep at a friend’s house and the friend shows J his father’s gun and you know the rest I don’t even want to continue talking about it. On the other hand, I don’t particularly want a stranger in my home. Even a 7 year old one. But, I’m a sucker and I’d rather avoid uncomfortable phone conversations even if what is to follow could be even more uncomfortable and lead to a conversation like, “Um, you need to come pick up your kid. J wanted his ears pierced like Sam’s and so Sam pierced them for J with a kitchen knife. We’re on our way to the hospital.” Fun stuff.

So Sam shows up on Saturday and I spend 5 minutes talking with his mom outside freezing my butt off because she doesn’t want to come in because she has stuff to do. She gives Sam a kiss and tells him to call her sometime around lunch tomorrow. (Hello? What if we had plans tomorrow? Aren’t you supposed to talk this over with the adults that are around? Why does she trust her 7 year old so much? Doesn’t she know they are socially stupid? In fact, hasn’t Sam already proven this?) So she leaves and the boys start their awkward social dance that I could write another whole blog about.

This is when my imagination kicks into overdrive.

I just know she’s going to leave him with us forever. She has decided that we’re a good family and she is going to focus more on her other 4 kids. 5 was too many so she’s leaving Sam with us. I just know he’s going to call his house around lunch time only to find that the number has been changed. Total and complete chaos is going to ensue with Ty and I wondering if we can financially take care of another child. Should we just drop him off at a shelter like you would a cat? Should we call the police? Should I call someone from work that I trust to help me? If we go to the police then the situation will be out of our hands and terrible things happen to children when they are in state or foster care.

***And, you know, this isn’t some wacky story I’m thinking up so that my blog can be interesting. These are the real thoughts that went through my head on Saturday night. Did I share these thoughts with Ty? No, I didn’t want him to think I was crazy! But, I just know some of you have had crazy parenting thoughts. I know you have done wacko things for your kiddos, I know you have had nutso worries. Come on, I know I’m not the only one!***

Anyway, my fears were ungrounded (go figure) and the boys had a good time together. Now I have to prepare myself for the giant leap of faith that will come with letting J sleep over at Sam’s house after the holiday. Even with all J knows about good and bad and right and wrong, I KNOW he is only 7, and I KNOW he is socially stupid. I don’t know if my imagination can take it. Would it be okay for me to call and check on J every few minutes?

“Um, hi J. Sam hasn’t brought you into his Dad’s closet yet, has he?”