the eugene bean

I wish I didn't have to go to work everyday, just on the days when I felt like I needed a distraction from reading books and eating sunflower seeds.

I wish my kids could sit on the same sofa together. I was first going to wish for a bigger sofa, but I'm smart enough to know that wouldn't solve anything.

I wish there was a computer that could read my thoughts and write them down for me so I could analyze them. And then I'd analyze them, and then I'd analyze them, and then I'd analyze them... Never mind, not such a good idea after all. Maybe the computer could listen to all the random thoughts and then quickly bring to my attention the Truly Awesome thoughts that will make me appear intelligent and savvy. Because those thoughts are in there, People. They just get lost in the scuffle.

I wish that Diet Max Cola from Alberstons was a healthy substitute for water.

I wish E could (brace yourselves) wipe his own butt. That, my dear folks, will be a momentous parental occasion and will mark the end of an of era.

I wish I did not have the catchy tune from Playstation II's Backyard Football strumming about in my head all day.

I wish (and I'm stealing this from Ty) that our Jetta had an automatic glass divider separating the front and back seats. Knock once if you want our attention, twice if you're in pain, three times if you're bleeding.

I wish I had a dish genie. I'm past wanting a dish washer, I'm moving on to the big momma. A dish genie that pops in and out silently and efficiently, washing with super hot water and super smelling soap, rinsing and drying each dish, and finally putting them all away in the most logical (and reachable) order.

Do you think I could ask her to clean the toilet while she's at it?