the eugene bean

When is the last time you held a 3 day old infant? If it's been awhile, find one and grab ahold. It's the most amazing experience. Defies explanation.

I went to Connie's on Thursday night. She and Dan were just coming home from the hospital with Keegan when I arrived, and it was wonderful to see them. Connie is amazing; moving and doing and in high spirits despite giving birth via emergency c-section just 3 days prior. And the baby is precious, with red hair and dimples. He was recovering from a circumcision (Which, by the way, are horrible. Why do we continue cutting skin off our newborn babies?) while Connie was trying to recover from engorgement and his desire to sleep wasn't mixing with Connie's desire to feed him.

Dan went to bed at about 11 after dinner and some oohhing and aahhing and Oh My God He Is So Cute, Have You Ever Seen A Better Child gushing. He was in great need of sleep after 3 nights without it, and he had 23 patients scheduled for the following day.

And then began my Connie and Keegan experience.

First off, let me say that I feel honored to have been with Connie during the first days of Keegan's life. I am so thankful that I was able to go up to Portand and help my best friend and her family. I vividly remember the insecurity and uncertainty of nursing and caring for an infant- and nothing I've ever done has been more difficult. I remember the amazing roller coaster ride of emotions; from joy to fear to elation to anxiety to guilt to overwhelming love. I also vividly remember being supported- absolutely and completly lifted up- by my mother. And because Connie's mom, like my own, lives 2,500 miles away in New Orleans, I was detemined to be that life-line for her. And I was.

Because Connie and I have been such close friends for the past 15 years, and because we are totally comfortable with each other, and because I am a mother; I was able to anticipate Connie and Keegan's needs almost effortlessly. I was able to help her with things that men don't even want to know about. I was able to give advice, wash clothes, and shop for post-partum underwear and nightgowns. I was also able to bond with Keegan. I changed his diapers and burped him and rocked him on my chest for hours at a time. I washed his little clothes and cared for his circ and dressed and undressed him and I loved every minute of it. It was a wonderful experience.

And it got me thinking about the relationship that I have with Connie, and Stacy, and my mom, and Wendy and other women that I have loved. That bond that goes so far beyond words, the beautiful gift of being understood without having to explain.

And I miss little Keegan. I felt an ache when I had to leave, and I'm thrilled to be visiting him again tomorrow night. But I do have to say the whole experience made me thankful that my babies are 8 and 4, and it got me thinking about vasectomies.

Because that kind of penis snipping doesn't offend me in the slightest.