the eugene bean

I miss my daily blog sessions. I feel out of whack with the world when I'm not writing, but I currently have nothing worthwhile to say. I've been feeling insecure, unsure of myself, anxious, and slightly angry.

Lots going on at work that I can't mention- just the usual workplace crap but I don't want to get myself in trouble talking about it.

Also, I feel as though I've been judged based on my parenting decisions and my religious beliefs- and I don't have the balls to stand up to people and defend myself. Actually, I have the balls for the actual defense, it's the rebuilding of the relationships that I don't have the stomach for. The real bitch is that the people who have hurt me probably don't even know it- talk about a waste of time on my part.

So basically I'm in a funk. And this is probably not the time to tell you that I stopped taking the anxiety med. I was determined to try it for 5 weeks just so that I could tell you guys that I tried it and it didn't work. But, I couldn't even remember to take the pill every day or I was taking it at 7am one day and then at 9pm the next day because I'd forget. The whole thing was starting to remind me of my first pregnancy, and while I'm forever thrilled to have J, that slippage of the pill forever scarred my mind.

So until I can get a 5 year supply of Lexipro injected into my arm, I think I'll pass.

Have a good day folks.