the eugene bean

J: (While snuggling up under the mound of covers he keeps on his bed) Mom, I know you'd burn up if you got too close to the sun.

Me: Right.

J: Like, you'd start to get close and your head would just ash off?

Me: (Thinking "ash off" is the funniest thing I've heard all day, I can really illustrate this in my head.) Really, I think that your space shuttle would probably burn when you got close, before your head got a chance to ash off.

J: Oh.

and another great one...

E is crying because he wanted to brush his teeth by himself because he is a Big Boy like his brother. I've already done the Face Grab and brushed his teeth for him against his will. (I'm tired of this fight!)

I notice his face looks mighty cute as I'm squeezing his cheeks together so I start talking like Chubby. Do ya'll know Chubby? I know Stacy does. Did all kids do Chubby on his motorcycle with his fat face flapping in the wind? My momma's chubby, my daddy's chubby...???

Anyway, I grab his face and do the Chubby routine in the mirror and he gets a big chuckle out of it. He turns to me and says, "I like Chubby. He makes people uncry."

My thoughts exactly.