I'm struggling with something here and I hope I can get my point across.
J got his report card yesterday. He got all M's and one Z. Really. I'm not speaking in some sort of morse code, he really got M's and a Z. What the hell? Would all B's and an Incomplete really have killed his self esteem? It certainly would have been easier to read while driving in the car and fussing at E to stop annoying us like a 3 year old.
So he got the Z in the Language Arts effort section. Turns out he puts very little effort into some of the things he does at school. (Yes, this should sound VERY familiar to both Ty's parents and mine, although they won't leave any comments here to let you guys know that we both contributed equal chromosomes to the School Is Dumb And I Don't Really Care gene.)
So what do I do? J is smart. Very smart. But just because he scored multiple standard deviations above the norm when he was tested as a three year old doesn't mean that he will excell in school. Nor does it mean he should excell at school!
He is great at sports and is very athletic. He is wonderful with people, a patient and thoughtful kid, who is obviously empathetic; a quality that I very seldom see when dealing with children. J is a wonderful child, truly and really and honestly wonderful.
But, what do I do about school? He needs to write better and he needs to slow down in math so he won't make so many careless mistakes. BUT! I don't want to put tons of pressure on him. I personally think it would be fine for him to get B's in school, particularly since he is so good at other things. But his teacher thinks he could and should do better, and I know this is something he'll have to deal with his entire life.
I worry that this will mess with his already sensitive nature and self esteem.
I want to push the fact that to suceed in life, you need to put forth effort - almost All the Time! But, to be successful doesn't mean that you need to have all A's. So, just because he could make all A's, does that mean he should???
Agh!
I wish I could help, but the Type-A Perfectionist in me doesn't really recognize this trait -- It's a tough one.... how to motivate without crushing the spirit? I'm excited to hear what others think:
Although I do think the new grading systems are stupid.... an f is an f is an f no matter what letter you use -- it still means the same thing and has the same effect weather you call it 'failure' or 'not successful' or whatever word they chose to use.
wendy said...
10:37 AM
I have a brilliant solution to this problem, but I'd rather surf the web than take the time to type it out right now.
Anonymous said...
11:56 AM
so what does M mean? sounds crazy to me...
Sorry I dont have anything HELPFUL to say...Im a B myself!
Carrie K said...
1:26 PM
I think I want to be adopted by your family, but not your WHOLE family, because that's just crazy talk -- but I'll take you and Ty and most likely Stacy (she seems fun - hi stacy!) and the kids when they're being good....but not when they're not - obviously --
Sometimes we all get so caught up in getting this great grades to succeed.... and we forget that success in life isn't measured by our official grade point average or if we every failed at anything -- I think it's important to take a step back and think about how your life would be different now if you had either focused completely on always getting A's at everything (what fun would you have missed out on, what relationships would you not have right now, etc) -- and remember that sometimes people really are happy to spend their whole lives flipping burgers (not that J is going to do that....I'm just saying).... So, whatever Ty's brilliant solution is (which I somehow doubt he really has one, and that was his cop out answer to make him look like he had one when he really didn't... ), just remember some of history's smartest people failed out of school (Einstein, Da Vinci, Neils Bohr, etc.)
wendy said...
9:43 PM
For the record, M means Meeting Expectations and E means Exceeding Expectations and Z means "I have some negative comments to write about your son that won't fit in this tiny box so look down at the bottom of the report card."
Our brilliant decision after talking about it for only one day (and yes, Ty did have something to do with it):
Celebrate the fact that he met expectations with pizza and grape drink and a stupid yet touching Martin Lawrence movie. Oh, and plenty of Valentine candy.
And, commit to step up our involvement in J's homework and schoolwork, we'll also encourage him to write more (for practice) and we'll get him a typing game for the computer.
Wen and Stacy, you rock. Thank you for chatting about this, giving suggestions, and loving me and my family!
Corrie said...
7:29 AM