the eugene bean

Well, I didn’t see any roaches.

That’s something at least.

Unfortunately, it’s not quite enough something.

I’m not really sure what to say about the whole experience. It was sad. It was frustrating. I felt sickened by some of the things I saw.

But it was more then that.

First off let me say that I agree with a large portion of New Orleanians who believe that the city will rebuild itself and be alive once again. There is evidence of growth and truthfully, I don’t believe there will ever be a United States without a New Orleans. I understand why many people are optimistic. I’m just not entirely comfortable with the optimism. I’m not seeing New Orleans grow the way I think it should. (I feel free to express my opinion here in my blog.)

Good things will happen for many people following this storm. People are making tremendous amounts of money cleaning up New Orleans. I heard stories about people making up to $1500 a day transporting FEMA trailers. People with resources are making money. Lots of it. People spoke about rebuilding in the well-off neighborhoods. I heard, “Don’t worry; someone will buy that shell of a house (home! That was someone’s home.) and rebuild on that lot. They’ll make a huge profit.”

Well, okay.

Something about that makes me very uncomfortable. I’d like to see the money go to places and people that really need it. I think in order for the city of New Orleans to be strong, it will have to change its whole damn system.

I don’t really have any solutions. I’m not an engineer or the mayor or someone at all qualified to come up with solutions.

But I do have opinions.

What about the areas of town that were poor? What about the good people that lived there among the poverty and the crime? Why don’t we have New Orleanians back to live in the city that they belong in? Why don’t we have plans to bring our people home to live and work and go to school?

Where are the plans for more public green space for our kids to play in? Where is the plan for our schools? Why are there still dead cars (they look dead, and thinking of them sitting under 6 feet of water really gives me the creeps) all over the place? Why are the god damned water lines still covering everything? Why? Why? Why?

The city was sad. You can pretend it’s not there. You can worry about it as if it were part of another country, you know, some far off place. You can live minutes away from total devastation and never see it if you make sure to stay close to home. You can even get so used to seeing the hell that it is that you begin to feel indifferent.

None of that is going to help my city.

New Orleans has an incredible opportunity for growth. New Orleans: the city itself and the people who live there. I wish I could say I was optimistic.

The truth of it is I’m happy to be living somewhere else. I happy that I’m not in New Orleans.

And that makes me very, very sad.